Forbidden love and how to get out of it.

There’s a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable –  Mark Twain

“Masarap ang bawal”is what they say.  This is something that everyone agrees about.There is something about the forbidden that attracts you to engage to it, despite the fact that no one should actually do it.

…and we all have that one friend  who keeps on doing what is not meant to be done or maybe at some point in our life we were blinded by a forbidden love.  — I think I have to blame history for it. *face palm

Long time ago, the issue of forbidden love already takes place with the first relationship goal unlocked by Romeo and Juliet. Until now, the issue still rises. Whether it be forbidden because of different beliefs, family orientation, society issues and the like.

How do we really get out of it?

I think the secret to this will always be to DECIDE, and by decide I mean to be firm in your decision.Do it with your heart and mind.

It will not come easy, it will be the toughest decision you will make but I guarantee you it will be worth it.I hear you and  I know how hard it is  to throw away something you know you have worked hard for. You will have to endure the pain before you see the silver lining again. But if you are fully decided to leave, you may want to ( altleast) try  these practice:

BE READY

or atleast, be prepared. Be prepared for all the pain you need to overcome. The tears you have to shed. The heartaches,the flashbacks, the anxiety, the insomnia,the stress eating and whatever coping you need to undergo for you to feel whole again. If you want to leave, you need  to be ready for leaving. You need to set you heart and mind that whatever action you need to do will be the best way for you. You need to be ready for all the circumstances life will give you for you to heal the wound that was long existing but was ignored. Be ready for everything. Be ready for the catastrophe ( but make sure your friends are there when you may think of committing suicide.) and most importantly, BE READY FOR THE CHANGE.

Reverse Psychology

Your brain will the be culprit here. A time will come wherein memories of you doing things together  will flashback slowly with your theme song on a background. This will got you teary eyed and think that you cannot survive life without him/her, but please also remember the time when he/she did not show up on your date night because he/she have their family affair. The time when he/she ignored your messages when you needed him/her the most. The time when he/she blocked you on all his/her social media account and come up with a very obvious alibi after wards. and  the moment you caught her exchanging messages with him/her (legal) significant other.

Remember that? Remember the feeling of being an option but still convincing yourself that a time will come when you will be the only option. Well,truth hurts but it will never come. (for some, maybe it will). You will never become the only option because if that would happen, why not now? If he/she wants you over the other, why do he/she still engages and exchanges sweet nothings with endearments with the other person?

When your mind is feeding you with the sweetest memory there is, fight back! Remember the darkest of the darkest days you have gone through. This will prevent yourself from falling hard again.

IGNORE

Stop stalking him/her and checking his/her latest IG post and Facebook Status. Going gaga if he/she had post a #relationshipgoals photo on IG, or have changed his/her status from Married to  Single and even waiting for a pop chat  from his/her and wishing he/she was telling you that he/she left him/her family so you two can be together forever. Cut the crap! Ignoring him/her will save you from a lifetime of misery.

The mere fact that he/she can ignore you for days, it just means that you are not as important as you think you are. The fact that he/she never misses a family date night but always forgets your anniversary means that you are not the priority here.

STOP TRYING

You keep on tying to convince yourself you’re happy but you’re not. You keep trying to convince yourself that things will go back to the way they used to but they can’t. You keep on pushing yourself to the limits without knowing that you have already maximized it. Stop trying to be okay when you know you are not. Stop trying to fix something that does not require fixing. Just please stop trying to rekindle something that is already due to leave.

WAKE UP

Wake up from the dream! Face reality and face it with heads up! We do not live in a world of happy endings, where a damsel in distress will always be saved by a knight and shining armor. Where a broken heart will be healed by a wave of magic wand by our fairy God mother. We live in a world of lies, bullshit, judgments and uncertainty. Where we cannot expect to receive the love we are very willing to give freely. We live in the world that if you do not stand for yourself you will be pushed around.

A forbidden love will never succeed no matter how sweet the start may be because it is not yours to take. Nothing right will come, out of something wrong.

 

I am not saying that these can happen or true to all. Love is the most powerful thing in this world and it can make or break you. You just have to choose wisely, love wisely.

 

-N

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Forbidden love and how to get out of it.

  1. I believe that we tend to think love to be some sort of magic thing, where everything just falls into place. Or a game that we’re supposed to win. We also tend to build certain unrealistic expectations, to the point that love becomes just an alibi for all the despair and suffering we would feel anyways. We are attracted to this danger, to this possibility, to what we shouldn’t do.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s