Sometimes you feel like you are never a part of something. That you’ve never (really) had a life, — your own life. You are just living in the life of others.Making them as your first priority; Thinking about their needs more than your own and spending more time with them and their wants over what you want and where you want to be. In fact, you’ve never (really) had your own voice. You speak their language, you move their trace. Without their footprints you are stationary.
What’s there to live if you never had and will never have a chance to live the life the way you want it?
You never had a life nor live the fullest of it. You move by the boundaries and act by their stipulated rules. YOU SUCK AT LIVING, (maybe) is the better way to say it. Perhaps it was because your childhood was taken from you too soon. You did not had the chance to become innocent and never been worry free.
Now, that people expect you to move a muscle, you cannot do it. You’re stiff. You became so vulnerable that’s why you became a push around. Truth is, you can do it!, you just fear the idea of not being good enough and being left behind for that. Left alone if you did not follow their cue or miss their timing.Left alone if you have not become their puppet.
Left alone and deal with the harsh reality, you never want that, never, again.
You must know darling,
YOU ARE LOST.
You are lost in the vagueness of the world,in the complexity of life. You are just a particle in the vast space and no one ever notice.
(Maybe) you are a part of something but you still cannot figure out what that something is nor can even elucidate it, therefore, you are (still) lost…
… (and) just when you thought someone had found you..the true you. The one who completes the puzzles of your scattered being, they end up making you their own possession, because you are lost and (never) found. Then there you are, succumbing to the truth that history repeats itself (over and over again).
You are too innocent at a wrong stage of life. You are (still) too innocent not to notice that you must not dwell in others. Too innocent living in a paradoxical life.
Darling you are lost, and if you never make a vigorous attempt to find yourself.. you will never be found.