A letter to my future husband.

Dear future husband,

I hope right now you are starting to be successful in your own career. I hope you finally made a decision on what path to pursue and on its way to making your dreams come true.
I hope that you are way too over with your past relationship but does not forgot the lessons it taught you. I hope that you are done with all the bullshits and life games and is ready to be selfless.
I know that you want to be pampered,but believe me I want it that bad too. But I want us to be partners. I want us to be fair and treat each other as equals. I hope we share the work and do everything together. I hope you understood that we are partners and no one is a servant or a king/queen.

I hope you learn to share everything with me. Your achievements, success, even your frustrations and your pain. I want to be there and celebrate with you or ease your pain.
I hope that you are willing to learn with me. Help me and understand me even when words are not uttered. I hope you can cope with the mood swings i have, impulsive decisions and non sense attitude. I hope you commit in understanding me even if im hard to understand, to love me even if i am not lovable, to correct my wrong doings and to be patient with me because I am willing to do the same with you.

I hope that I am making you proud today, and make you look forward for more tomorrows with me. I hope that I am the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and I hope that choosing me was one of the best decisions you’ve made because you are for me. I have made a lot of terrible mistakes that I am not proud of,but choosing you was one of the good decisions I have made.
I hope our story will be one of the stories you would want to share and play on repeat.
I hope that we always practice honesty and tell each other even the darkest secret, embarrassing moments, and tiniest details there is.

I hope we never lose respect with and for each other, and acknowledge that we have our individualities. That our life even in union still has difference and needs to breathe. So we will not loose ourselves trying to please the other.
I hope that we always trust each other. Always love each other and always be there with and for each other.
I hope that what we’re doing now will be best for us. I hope that we prove the world that we are match made in heaven. Everything that happened before there was even an us was God’s way of leading us to each other; and I hope that as we continue to be in this journey, may we be guided by God’s blessing of love and we’ll be open to embrace it.

PS: I am praying for you.

-your future wife.

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6 things I learned in College

1. Choose the course you love

Choosing the course you want and thinking long term is the first step to success. You should not take up something you don’t love. Don’t take up a course just because others want it because if its not what your heart beats you’ll end up either failing or jumping from one course to another.

2. Academics is important

It should be taken seriously. Academics may be overrated and dragging but everything is helpful. Every theory when applied makes a difference.

3. Academics is important but so is extra curricular

It may not be a part of the grading system but these activities will help you with the skills you need to equip yourself when you start working. It will form part in building your personality. It will be your first training. You just need to learn to balance out academics and extra curricular. And choose the extras wisely.

4. Establish connections

Know your connections and establish rapport. These can be useful in your on the job trainings and even after you graduate. Real life lessons are the best and being referred by is a plus.

5. Party hard and celebrate your youth

This is the time to go wild and free because once you started working and life already hits you,partying harder is not an excuse for failing life.

This is the time to Go on and celebrate life! Don’t drown yourself with the pressure of academics or else you’ll go crazy. You are young.. And you can fail and go home drunk. Do it now instead of later. I don’t want you to regret the things you did not do when and while you can because you were so busy.

6. Prepare yourself

College is your training ground. The world waiting for you is not that forgiving. They will not wait for you to be prepared because they already assumed that you are. You have to out there,well prepared to sell yourself or else you’ll be eaten up alive by those who are and you’ll end up job less or with the job you hate.
Prepare for the battle and succeed. Learn your academics, shape your skills,establish your connections and go out there with pride.

Goodluck! 😘😘

–n

A letter to the person I should not love,but I did.

I will start this letter saying sorry not sorry.
Sorry for the people I have hurt but I am not sorry because everything I did made me happy.
sorry for the people I have failed because I was so obsessed in this fairytale, but i am not sorry because i chose it. Every inch of it.
Sorry for the love of his life,for having the share of love that was supposed to be yours,but i am not sorry because i have loved him genuinely,purely and wholeheartedly. I have loved him when he needed love. When he asked for love.When you can no longer give the love.


So to you, Love,baby,honey, hubby..
I wanted you to know that you are my greatest love.
The love that sets my soul on fire. The kind of love that wakes me up and tucks me to bed with a smile tattooed on my lips. The love that makes me look forward to everyday.
The love I could’ve described perfect, except for the fact that you are married.

I became your Monday, Wednesday and Friday shift. She was your Tuesday, Thursday and weekends. She’s your pillow,your blanket, your comforter at night. I was just your short time.. Your  some time.

I have loved you for every second of it. I am even guilty of secretly wishing your marriage to fail,so you can come running into my arms and we can be together everyday. I wanted to spend my everyday seeing you beside me,and not just when circumstances seems fit.
You are mine and I am yours remember?
I made you smile again. I made you love life. I added color to it. I gave you the happiness she could no longer give. I loved you way better than she ever did. You are happy with me and I am sure of it.

What I am not sure of, was how long this fairytale would last. I was hoping forever. I was hoping it would never end. What we had was my safe haven.. My world… My life..
I wanted you to know that.
I wanted you to realize that.
What we had was special.. Magical.
But..
It was forbidden.

Maybe that is why you left .
Without goodbye without a kiss..without a word.
You just left.
Just like that.
As fast as how I got to know you.
As fast as how you came and took my world.

Guess forbidden love will never succeed.
You both made a promise that I was never part of.
I was outside your union,your circle.. Outside..
Not a part. Outcast.

But I wanted to remind you about our love,my love.
But I will not beg you to come and reciprocate it.
I just want you to acknowledge that once in your life you were loved by a person that should not love you..
And you show love to a person you shouldn’t love.

STAGE PLAY

It was on the amphitheatre when I first saw you.

You were one of the performers and it gave me a clue.

Pantomime was the act that you did,

And I was undeniably amazed by it.

After that incident that happened then,

I always saw you again and again.

Guess it was destiny when I found out

That one of my friend was your best friend.

We became friends and hang out a lot.

As if we already knew each other that much.

Unusual happiness when I’m with you.

“Just like lovers”, was our view.

You offered me love and I happily accept it.

Since the feeling was mutual,I bet.

It was like a never ending fairytale for me,

No 12 o’clock expiration and a carousel for free.

I thought it was going to be forever,

Our relationship was no ending;NEVER;

But that was a wrong person, I guess

And I feel like I’m not blessed.

What we had was not a fairytale,

What we did was just a stage play.

You’re the prince, I’m the princess

Of a play full of false pretences.

-N

How to be prepared for your child’s first day in school

Zoe is now officially enrolled, she got admitted as CASA II ( KINDER 1) without even attending a nursery class.

My baby girl is now growing up.. I am not quite sure if this thought makes me sad or makes me excited. Guess we’ll just focus on the positive one. 🙂

Since ZOE is now a student,there are already school requirements/supplies that needs to be bought, and stuffs that needs to be done. I tried my best to recall my kinder days but failed at most part. So I’d like to share my learning/ realizations from Zoe’s first school day.

1. RESEARCH

Sometimes or maybe most often than not,you shouldn’t just rely on the list-to-submit, provided by the school. You always have to think ahead and search about what supplies would kinder students need. Such as:

A. Jumbo pencil/ monggol xl

B. Bond paper

C. Crayons

D. Art materials (scissors not included)

E. Notebook ( with red and blue lines)

F. Eraser and sharpener

G. Rulers

You always need to anticipate or else your child will end up feeling an outcast because he/she does not have the complete things like his/her classmates. Good thing @SMStore has everything our students need. A one stop shop for all the school supplies,clothes, shoes and other back to school stuffs for our first time student needs.

2. MORE CHIKA,MORE KNOWLEDGE

I did not say you have to be “chismosa” and gossip while your child is inside the classroom but at least try to mingle around and observe. Ask and start a conversation so you will have an idea about some stuffs you forgot to buy,bring or pack for your little student. After all, being friendly won’t hurt.

3. GET TO KNOW THE TEACHER

It’s your little one’s first ever school experience and the least that you want it to be is to become traumatic. Make sure that you know the teachers, especially your child’s teacher/adviser. Observe the way she teach and interact with the students. This does not mean that you have to hire a private investigator, instead, be the investigator your self. Mother instincts works often right?

4. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD

I am lucky , Zoe always makes sure to share how her day went and she needs little motivation to be left alone at school given that she’s an excited student. Some kids start school afraid to be left alone in a room with kids they don’t even know and with the care of a stranger.

Make sure you communicate well with your little one. Establish a very comfortable pep talk. Always ask how the school was. How fruitful the day at school was. What activities were done, how participative did your child was. Motivate them and build excitement so she will look forward for school hours and the time your child gets to share the experience with you.

5. SHOW SOME LOVE AND SUPPORT

Make it a habit to always acknowledge your child’s effort in going to school and participating in class. This will make your child motivated all the time.

Today is Zoe’s 7th day in school and she is improving day by day. She learned the value of friendship and paying close attention to her teacher. She learned to participate and mingle with others and is learning to look after her stuffs. I am glad that this milestone is working fine for her. Enabling her to improve emotionally,socially and academically.

Hope this simple tips will help all the excited Mamas on their childs first day in school just like I am. Got some first day tips/experience worth sharing too? Share it with us below!

-N

Fourteen (014)

A day I can’t forget,

Is a day when we first met.

I was shocked when I saw you,

Cause my heart was full of hue.

It was on an unexpected place,

The scene was so fast like a car on a race,

But those smile I’ll always remember

And the feeling I felt when we’re together.

It was a day of ” Fourteen”

When you and I had seen,

It was the day I couldn’t forget,

It was my FAVORITE!!

-N

BROKEN

A boy I admired so much,

Is the one I love to touch.

His cute face and gorgeous smile,

Had captured my eyes with dazzling shine.

He promised to wait and love me forever,

But forever has turned to never;

I saw him strolling with someone else,

Exchanging smiles and sweet caress.

And now a broken piece of me has left,

With no one but myself!

How dare him left me just like that,

With a kept promise of a love!

.-N

I never thought its you

I was alone waiting for nothing,

Then someone came and ask me something,

At first I was shocked but mesmerized,

Because he was the one I idolized.

The moves he made when he dance,

Really captures my heart even at first glance.

And now this heartthrob boy is on my side,

And a feeling of something, I recognized.

“I never thought its you”,he said

“its you who I secretly love and will love till the end”,

Now I know that this boy beside me,

Was in love with nobody but me.

-N

A letter to Papa,

Hey Papa! Father’s day is near. People are already preparing.. Promotions are already being thought about; gift suggestions are already being displayed..have you ever look forward for this day? I wonder. Did it ever occurred to you how special this day is? or it is just another normal day? I suppose the latter.

Hey Papa! Did you ever wish your daughter would call you some day and greet you ” Happy Father’s Day!” ? or maybe surprise you with a gift beside your bed, maybe its your favorite branded clothes, or car parts, or a subscription to a club, or maybe just take you out on a dinner? Did you Papa? or you never wished because you forgot that you even have a daughter? I suppose the latter.

Hey Papa! Did you ever feel envious? When your friends go on family trips together.,eat out together with the whole family..so complete..a mother, a father and their children? or you never feel any because you never want a complete family? I suppose the latter.

Hey Papa! Did you remember the first and last words you said to your daughter? How she initiated the conversation because you were too conceited and coward to speak to her? Did you papa? Maybe not! Because for you it was just another ordinary night. Just you making a conversation. Just you, granting the pleading request of your 18 year old daughter, for you to see eye to eye, talk heart to heart, for the first time in her 18 fucking years of existence! Which one Papa? I suppose the latter.

Well Papa, I wanted to tell you a lot of things. Ask a lot of questions. Clarify a lot of issues..but you are not ready for it,or never will be. However Papa, I want to greet you Happy Fathers Day! even if you do not deserve it.

Still, I wanted to tell you my sincerest THANK YOU! Thank you Papa! Thank you for breaking my heart before I was even born. More so, for tearing my Mama’s heart into pieces. You have made her,me, us stronger than we will ever be. Your absence taught me that not all men are strong enough to stand on their own feet. Some just plant seed and leave when the seed starts to sprout because it would mean responsibility.

Your absence taught me that not all men are strong enough to stand on their own feet. Some just plant seed and leave when the seed starts to sprout because it would mean responsibility.

Thank you for teaching me that I should be responsible for myself,for my decisions, for my actions. To accept my mistakes, learn from it and rise above. If not for you Papa, I will be dependent enough to your strengths or of other peoples’. If its not you Papa, I will not be this strong, because I gain what you lack.

I learnt to fight back the abuse of other men like you, who think women are just women. Inferior and exists only to please men. I learnt to speak up my rights and say no as an answer, things you can never do Papa, words you can never utter. I learned to protect Mama, to protect myself,and understand that even if sometimes we are weak, I can still stand up because who else will do? Its just us Papa, you weren’t there.

I learned to fight, fight until I have the strength to…

I learned when to speak and when not to..

and to show the world that no one’s actions and mistakes can ever define me and who I want to be! Not even you Papa, not even.

Thank you for that Papa.

I am genuinely grateful for that! Somewhat grateful that even if I do not have the will to choose a parent, you were given to me, because I will not be me if its not for you.

So for what its worth,

I genuinely greet you..

HAPPY FATHER’s DAY!!

_- from the best daughter you will ever have.

(or the only daughter you have)

When loving someone becomes draining..

You’re alone.. Sitting in a coffee shop tired of leaving life with no one to share this with..
Then life gives you battle you cannot overcome and a knight to save the damsel in distress..

You found yourself falling..
Falling hard..
Falling deeply madly hard with the person..

Without you knowing.. You have lost yourself in the process.

Maybe loving someone so much makes you forget yourself. You forgot who you are.. What you want.How to decide for yourself and what you really aspire for.
You have forgotten the ABCs you knew so well.

You are so consumed in working hard to please the other person that you dismiss your own needs. You run even if you wanted to walk,and drown because you forgot how to swim.

You have forgotten how to stand up for yourself because there’s a knight to save the princess anyway.

You have forgotten how to speak what’s in your mind and do what your body desires to.
You have got tounge tied,because less talk less mistakes right? Even if you knew that you’re quite the talker.

Its always been about the other person. The wants,the needs, the satisfaction of the other.

Its draining..
Its consuming..

But that’s what commitment is about right?

You commit to work hard to improve your relationship.
You commit to do everything for the betterment.

And it should be both of you. Because if its only you who does the work.. Then indeed it is draining.. It’s not love which is consuming.. It is the relationship. Because instead of two way..it becomes one way.

A relationship with only one whose willing to work is draining. Might as well walk out of it. This siuation gives you two choices..

Are you willing to risk being drained for the rest of your life? And will you patiently wait and try to swim until the other person tries to save you? Or just pack your bags and start anew?

Its your choice.

-N