Zoe tries to Vlog

Holy weeks are holidays for some..its a chance to visit places because why not? Its long weekend. But, for me, this holiday is best spent with family. It’s the time to do some catching up and bonding moments long stolen other stuffs we attend to during regular days.

As for Zoe and me, we just did staycation.. Aside from the fact that I was sick, it’s the best time to do some parenting 😂

Here’s some snippets of our days together last holiday.😂😂😂 (all raw files)

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My AdSummitPH 2018 experience

This year, I got to attend the biggest advertising and marketing event in the Philippines. An event wherein almost all the key players in the industry have gathered around to learn, showcase and mingle with each other.

Here is the video to summarize my week of stay in Subic for the event. 😜

I am a WOMAN and I deserve EQUALITY

In a world where everyone believes in equality is a group who still fights for their right.
It’s a group who still struggles to have a name, to be heard, to be seen, to be appreciated, to be loved, and to express..
A group who have long been muted by society who’s rights are defined but not exercised..

Who’s responsibilities are endless but capacity is limited.
These group…are women.
Women,who,no matter how empowered still at one point or another becomes inferior.
Women,who,no matter how loud they scream seems inaudible..
Women, who,no matter how hard they work will always stay at the bottom.

It’s hard to be a woman.
It’s hard to always fight for your right wherever,whenever.
It’s hard to always fight because you knew that you don’t have to but they provoke you.
It’s hard to always explain yourself to anyone,everyone.
Its hard because you knew that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Its hard to always be misunderstood,
To always be judged,
To always be cursed,
To always be humiliated,
To always be disgraced,
To always be blamed,
To always be themselves..

Why does it have to be difficult breathing?
Why does it have to be difficult existing?

I am a woman!
And I deserve what you deserve,
Not because I am greedy,
But because I deserve equality.

How to qualify as a Mom

Can you really call your self a mom if you really haven’t done your job “as a mom” and by “job as a mom” I mean the job of a mom as what society defines it to be.

To qualify as a mom you must experience all of the following: (Not just one or some,but All of it)


1. Give birth
2. ‎Breastfeed
3. ‎See your child grow
4. ‎Witness your child’s milestones.
5. ‎Remember when your child first walk
6. ‎Remember what’s your child’s first word
7. ‎Feed your baby
8. ‎Change your baby’s diaper
9. ‎Take a bath of your baby
10. ‎Send your baby to school
11. ‎Teach your child’s first language
12. ‎Sing lullaby to your child
13. ‎Read them books
14. ‎Tuck them to bed
15. see them grow


These are just the basic things that a mom should do (according to the societal standards) to qualify and be called A MOM.
Its alarming and bias isn’t it?

Mother nowadays are not the typicals. Gone are the days when women are too inferior than men that they don’t even deserve a place in the corporate world..or even to become leaders. Women nowadays,and mostly mothers are sharing the same loads as those of men. They deserve equal rights as their male counterpart.

Society should acknowledge the fact that there are portions of working women who are moms. They are working to provide for the family while climbing their way up to the corporate ladder. She is making sure she meet the needs of her two bosses- her family and her corporate boss.
She should not be at fault not seeing her child’s milestones because she is doing her best to cope up. And believe me it is the worst thing ever for a mom, to know less about her child.

What about those mom’s who portray the role of two personas? Those who struggle to be a mom and a dad disregarding her own personal happiness for her child’s sake? Or maybe asking someone to take care of her child while she source out the ways and means of surviving their life?
Do you think she don’t deserve to be called a mom for missing much? Without even thinking what she had to endure to survive?

What about the mom who choose to travel away from the family to secure their future?
She missed everything.. Knew her child based on photos and videos sent. Contented on the videocalls even if deep inside her heart is pouring out with pain.
Do you think she does not deserved to be called a mother just because she was not there?

Society should stop defining who’s who. Because women deserve everything in this life. They deserved to be heard. They deserve a place. And they deserved to be acknowledged as much as others are. Mothers, especially,are the group of women who are often underrated. People would say “oh they’re just moms.” Like its that simple.
Apparently to the world,mom’s are just those women who change their child’s diapers,breastfeed them and sing them lullabies. But in Reality,these group of women are the toughest species in the planet. They are heroes and have gone through a lot just to make sure their families enjoy a bright future. They sacrificed themselves.. They are selfless.. They are tough!

So how should one qualify to be called a mom?
Screw it!
Everyone can be a mom!
(Even if your not born with the v)

So to all women,especially Mom’s out there, do not let others define who you are or what you want to become because you are doing great!

Happy International Women’s Day!

-N

‘What if your life ended this minute?

I stumbled upon a Facebook  video shared by reset.fit entitled

‘What if your life ended this minute?

Watching it got me thinking like, What if I was not ready and my life ended this minute? What will I do? What will I say before it happens? and Where will I go after that?

Death as they say is inevitable. Everyone will die at some point in their lives, some just left sooner than others. However, no matter how much you anticipate death, it is still scary. We will never be ready for it, emotionally at least.

The video I watched left questions for viewers to answer. Let’s try to answer the questions one by one and contemplate on life.

  1. What do you love about yourself?

 

uhm. I love that I can now be myself and do what I really want with my life. I love that I am sensitive of other people. I’d like to think that I can easily symphatize and emphatize with other people. I easily know if they are hurt, offended or genuinely happy by looking at their faces. I love that I care too much and care less whichever is necessary.

 

2. Do you have any regrets about your life?

 

I would like to say I don’t, but truth is, I have.

I regret not taking chances with people, relationships. I regret not trusting the right people when I was younger. I built my walls so high no one could come close. I was so afraid to get hurt that I always stayed on my comfort zone.  Because of that, I ended up trusting the wrong people and let the right people go.

But even if I regret some decisions I made, I am still thankful for it. It made me wiser, it made me realize what works and what doesn’t. It made me stronger and taught me life lessons based on first hand experiences.

 

3. If you were given one more chance, what would you do?

 

I could not turn back time and  re-do or undo things. What I will do is make the most of it. Learn from the past experiences and make sure not to repeat the same mistakes twice. I will love until I have nothing to give. I will appreciate even the smallest things and live life not thinking about what ifs and what could be’s more than the experiences it may bring me.

I will live everyday as a fresh start and do the things that I love. I will try new things, conquer my fears and I will love life even more!

 

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How about you? Are you brave enough to  answer those three (3) questions?

 

 

 

 

-N

100 FACTS ABOUT ME

I am way exhausted about wrong perceptions and stories about me which I don’t even know happened or occured. Like WTH? If you’re interested to get to know me better and beyond the hear say’s go on and take time to read this post, but if  not then  you’re free to leave. 😀


Here’s the 100 random facts about me.

  1. I was born in 1993.
  2. I am the only child
  3. I love chocolates
  4. I love surprises.
  5. I am short tempered and impatient.
  6. I love performing. (dancing/ theatrical presentations/play)
  7. (In connection to number 6 ) I was part of the Special program in the arts in High School and majored Theater arts.
  8. I cried when I competed for Monologue (Romeo and Juliet piece) because I was so nervous and pissed at the same time with the thought that no one was there to support me. But turns out they’re just late.
  9. I have my mini toy showroom when I was a kid.
  10. There are distant relatives who wants to adopt me and whenever they visit us, I hid underneath my bed until they left.
  11. My mother died when  I was 17 years old.
  12. I miss my mom everyday.
  13. I used to hate my father whenever I experience misfortune and every time I see my mom exhausted.
  14.  I witnessed and was abused (physically and emotionally)
  15. I fought someone with a knife.
  16. I love writing and expressing my feelings through it.
  17. I gave a friend a custom made poem for her birthday.
  18. I competed feature writing in Elementary and won.
  19. I was also forced by our adviser to represent our school for Tigsik writing even if I don’t know what it is and how to do it, but ended up winning 3rd place out of 5 awards.
  20. I used to write short stories and novels.
  21. I graduated Salutatorian in Elementary and Cum Laude in College.
  22. I flank infront of the whole campus and ended up getting a round of applause.
  23. I dumped one of my suitors through a blog post. HAHA
  24. I was called to report to the Guidance office because I bully my classmate and call her “Imang”. ( a name given to a hunchback fictional character )
  25.  During elementary days, I was always the batch’s representative in school pageants.
  26. My favorite street game is Tumbang Preso.
  27. I was elected President of the Math Club in our school, but I’m actually bad at it.
  28. I was given a low grade by our adviser in Grade 2 because I unintentionally told her I don’t like her birthday gift. ( I didn’t mean it though)
  29. I don’t like hard rock music and metal.
  30. The church was my comfort. I used to ran off home and went to church just to cry my heart out.
  31. I love playing scrabble, and missed playing it now.
  32. I punched someone in the stomach because his bullying me.
  33. I am a very picky eater.
  34. I was enrolled to a summer painting class before because I always cry  and complain that my drawing is bad.
  35. I like adventures.
  36. I don’t like seafoods. Allergic to it too.
  37. I can eat chicken only my entire life.
  38. I can’t eat fried milkfish without tomato ketchup.
  39. I played soccer in College.
  40. and hit 3 goals during Intramurals. Talk about LUCK 😀
  41. My friends surprised me on my 18th and 19th birthday and it was the best birthday ever.
  42. I spent my 23rd birthday on a plane and ended up in Hongkong and Macau. (This is the best-est birthday 😀 )
  43. I watched A walk to remember more than 5 times and still cry hard.
  44. I love the series titled “SUITS”.
  45. I have a high achievement need.
  46. I don’t drink  beer.
  47. I love avocado, watermelon, melon and mango.
  48. I love Milk tea!
  49. I can’t finish a cup of coffee. 2 sips will do.
  50. I can’t eat more than 3 fishball, kikiam etc.
  51. I am competitive.
  52. Me and my friends locked ourselves in our room so we won’t pay the entrance fee of the ball.
  53. I used to sell “recycled items” as long as its glittery when I was in Elementary. Talk about being business minded eh?
  54. I used to love chemistry way back in College and had a BS Chem ex- boyfriend 😀
  55. Me and my friends locked ourselves at our room and hid behind the cabinets so we would not pay for the grand ball’s entrance fee.
  56. I’m kuripot.
  57. I am very sentimental.
  58. I am bad at showing my weak spot to my family.
  59. I eat a lot.
  60. I don’t like wearing uniforms
  61. I have multiple social media accounts in one media because i frequently forget my password.
  62. I hate nosy people
  63. My ideal breakfast is either pancakes, and bread.
  64. Its my weird dream to be a maid of honor.
  65. I had a daughter at 20 years old.
  66. I experienced spending New Years Eve on the street alone.
  67. I played volleyball even if I’m 4 months pregnant.
  68. I did zipline superman style when I was 4 months pregnant.
  69. My favorite color is white.
  70. I had a TV interview once.
  71. I slept in a haunted house two nights.
  72. I’m acrophobia and trypophobia.
  73. I joined pageant several times. (forced to)
  74. My favorite day is Wednesday. I don’t know why but I used to dress well and feel well during Wednesday.
  75. I hate false promised and cancelled plans. I want everything to be well planned.
  76. I cried over a dead bird I stepped on.
  77. My day will not be complete without checking Instagram.
  78. I’m not a pet lover. I once had a pet and found it the mouth of our house cat.
  79. I pet 2 guinea pigs named Kari and Poku.
  80. I have a bad memory and short term memory problem.
  81. Bu I think that I have a minor photographic memory ability. I tend to remember things after I see it.
  82. I love public speaking.
  83. I am an emcee since college, and hosted a wedding
  84. My blood type is A+. and just learned it last 2014, all the while i thought I am Blood O.
  85. My weirdest gift wish list is a dictionary.
  86. I always say what I want to say regardless of how harsh it is.
  87. I am competitive.
  88. I have a product development/ brand manager profession.
  89. I think I am a semi bi sexual
  90. I have a lot of nicknames depending on the group of friends.
  91. I love having a relaxing body massage and spa treatments.
  92. I am indecisive.
  93. I sprained my thumb because of playing volleyball.
  94. I am not confident with my teeth.
  95. the first big concert  I attended to was Shaw Mendez at MOA.
  96. I can sense if someone is taking photograph of me.
  97. I like being the subject of a photo.
  98. I am ambidextrous.
  99. I am either lazy or super industrious. nothing in between.
  100. My name is Nicole,and these are the 100 random facts about me.

 

 

 

  • N

 

SELF REALIZATIONS VOL 2 “Blame it on my Zodiac (Scorpio)”

Have you ever been in a situation wherein you just want to be alone and shut down the world? Like you realized that you have the tendency to push people away, when all they want to do was to help you out?

I did! Always, maybe?

I recently had a fight with someone because I was pissed off about  the thought that this person is lecturing me about something I thought I already figured out.  S/He was startled and left after telling me these words “Ikaw na nga tinutulungan, ikaw pa ang galit” — Then comes awkward silence.  The silence drift me away to realizations that”yeah! I think this person was right after all. ”  Maybe I was being mean perceiving that they do not think I know what I am doing, or that they are just messing with  my ideas; because on the other side of the coin they are just genuinely suggesting and  helping me with  an  alternative.

A friend once told me that maybe it was because of my zodiac. People who were born under  the  zodiac of Scorpio are usually defensive and over thinkers. They protect themselves so much that they tend to dismiss the help offered  by others thinking that it has ulterior motive, and shut down the people who tends to show love. They know their territory and protect it by all means, and that Ladies and Gentlemen…is so me..

Now what shall we do about this Scorpio’s?

Well.. we could always blame it on our zodiac and say WTF! I’m a Scorpio!

But we can’t! It doesn’t work that way. Before we would realize the recourse of our actions, people already lost the will to  keep and understand us. So before they get tired f the understanding the stubborn Scorpio, let the change start little by little.

As for me, I am practicing the art of MATURITY. 2017 has shown me lessons telling me how immature I still am. So this 2018, i will make sure to master the art before I can no longer apply it on someone else because I wont have anyone else anymore.

 

-N

Self Realizations Volume 1

This may be 25 days late but, I am still amazed by the fact that another year has ended and we are now on the page of the new one.

For me, 2017 was a year of Learnings. I couldn’t say that it was the best year nor the worst one, but rather it was the year when I finally “somewhat” get to know myself more. The year when I “somewhat” figure things out. I was faced with obstacles that forced to do “adulting”.

To share with you some pointers, here are the things I learned last 2017.

 

  1. NEVER TO RELY ON OTHERS,EXCEPT YOURSELF
  2. WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW WON’T HURT YOU
  3. PATIENCE IS REALLY A VIRTUE
  4. IF YOU WANT TO STEP UP, START NOW!
  5. NO ONE CAN BETTER UNDERSTAND YOU THAN YOURSELF.
  6.  YOU SHOULD LEARN  TO CARE LESS
  7. HOW NOT TO LET OTHER’S DEFINE WHO YOU ARE
  8. HOW GIVING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN RECEIVING
  9.  NO MATTER HOW KIND YOU ARE, SOME PEOPLE WILL STILL BE A BITCH
  10. SOME PEOPLE WILL HATE EVERY BIT OF YOU AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS ACCEPT THAT AND MOVE ON.
  11.  THIS IS YOUR LIFE. DON’T LIVE TO PLEASE OTHERS. PLEASE GOD INSTEAD.

 

 

 

 

 

-N

Remembering.. Before I forgot

It’s the 3rd day of the new year. I was sitting on my office chair trying to contemplate the what to do’s and stuffs I need to accomplish, when  I received an email from WordPress greeting me for my blog anniversary. Then I thought, Ugh! Right! It was January last year when I started to rekindle with my first passion.

As I checked my blog site, I realized I only have few posts. I haven’t got the chance to update it every once in a while. Maybe due to a very busy schedule I am prioritizing lately.

Why did I ever start writing here in the first place? —  I have started this blog because I wanted to find myself again. The old me who finds joy in spilling thoughts though the ink of a pen. The old me who fill pages of a notebook with either short stories, scripts, poems or any random diaries. Then guilt started to eat my system. What happened to rekindling? I felt guilty that somewhere in the one year that ended, I have neglected, not the blog itself but, the real me. .. the old me.  No matter how I work to bring it back it just doesn’t work the same way before. It is not my priority anymore, nor maybe part of the list.

Time restrictions were to blame, wasn’t it? or was it my maturity and change of priorities? I work eight (8) hours a day,sometimes more, meet with family and friends after work and the rest was either to prepare for the next day or was already consumed by the traffic situation I am always in. I can barely sleep 8 hours , and could not even manage to spend a lot of time for my daughter. I don’t even have time to read books like I used to. It’s all piled up in the shelves waiting to be valued again. Oh God! I miss the good old days. I have been long deprived of the ME time that I can no longer recall how to make the fire burning,so I could write endlessly and passionately once again. I can no longer find the energy to finish a book in a day or two because I am drained, emotionally and physically.

 

I miss me..

I miss the old me..

 

Maybe this is what they call adulting right?

The habits and priorities have changed. You can no longer practice the YOLO and come what may principle. Everything should be weighed before arriving with a decision. Gone are the days when you could be so spontaneous. Maybe adulting allow us to evaluate what really matters. What among all those, are worthy of your time and attention, and sometimes it makes you give up your passion if you could not have time for it.

But, giving up is not my option. Maybe I won’t update every time but I will find time for it. I will still try to find the light..the fire. Still try to awaken some parts of the old me..so it will not be forgotten. So it will once again live and make my life colorful again..so it will make me complete..

Once again..

 

 

 

-N

My mom spoke to me in my dream..

I will do what I want.

Go where I want

And live the life I envisioned.

 



I remember the dream I had last night. It was my Mom.

The setting was New Year’s Eve and I was about to get Zoe from somewhere and went back to mom to ask her to come with us to spend the New Years Eve at our relatives house.. But Mom told me just to stay. she said “Just stay here”. “Stay here where you are loved genuinely” “Dito nalang tayo”.

And that was the moment after so long that I felt loved again. She was telling me to stay where I am at peace and it is there..not any where else.

It was my mom telling me something. She was communicating to me through my dreams. Before that night, i was anxious and worried I could not make it alone. How will I took care of everything if I finally get Zoe to live with me? Can I make it?

Then I prayed.

Later that night I was answered through that dream.

” dito ka nalang”

” Let’s just stay here..”

Yes Mom. Ill stay with you. Be where I am truly loved.

-N

 

 

 

I do not need your opinion.GFY!