I am way exhausted about wrong perceptions and stories about me which I don’t even know happened or occured. Like WTH? If you’re interested to get to know me better and beyond the hear say’s go on and take time to read this post, but if  not then  you’re free to leave. 😀

Here’s the 100 random facts about me.

  1. I was born in 1993.
  2. I am the only child
  3. I love chocolates
  4. I love surprises.
  5. I am short tempered and impatient.
  6. I love performing. (dancing/ theatrical presentations/play)
  7. (In connection to number 6 ) I was part of the Special program in the arts in High School and majored Theater arts.
  8. I cried when I competed for Monologue (Romeo and Juliet piece) because I was so nervous and pissed at the same time with the thought that no one was there to support me. But turns out they’re just late.
  9. I have my mini toy showroom when I was a kid.
  10. There are distant relatives who wants to adopt me and whenever they visit us, I hid underneath my bed until they left.
  11. My mother died when  I was 17 years old.
  12. I miss my mom everyday.
  13. I used to hate my father whenever I experience misfortune and every time I see my mom exhausted.
  14.  I witnessed and was abused (physically and emotionally)
  15. I fought someone with a knife.
  16. I love writing and expressing my feelings through it.
  17. I gave a friend a custom made poem for her birthday.
  18. I competed feature writing in Elementary and won.
  19. I was also forced by our adviser to represent our school for Tigsik writing even if I don’t know what it is and how to do it, but ended up winning 3rd place out of 5 awards.
  20. I used to write short stories and novels.
  21. I graduated Salutatorian in Elementary and Cum Laude in College.
  22. I flank infront of the whole campus and ended up getting a round of applause.
  23. I dumped one of my suitors through a blog post. HAHA
  24. I was called to report to the Guidance office because I bully my classmate and call her “Imang”. ( a name given to a hunchback fictional character )
  25.  During elementary days, I was always the batch’s representative in school pageants.
  26. My favorite street game is Tumbang Preso.
  27. I was elected President of the Math Club in our school, but I’m actually bad at it.
  28. I was given a low grade by our adviser in Grade 2 because I unintentionally told her I don’t like her birthday gift. ( I didn’t mean it though)
  29. I don’t like hard rock music and metal.
  30. The church was my comfort. I used to ran off home and went to church just to cry my heart out.
  31. I love playing scrabble, and missed playing it now.
  32. I punched someone in the stomach because his bullying me.
  33. I am a very picky eater.
  34. I was enrolled to a summer painting class before because I always cry  and complain that my drawing is bad.
  35. I like adventures.
  36. I don’t like seafoods. Allergic to it too.
  37. I can eat chicken only my entire life.
  38. I can’t eat fried milkfish without tomato ketchup.
  39. I played soccer in College.
  40. and hit 3 goals during Intramurals. Talk about LUCK 😀
  41. My friends surprised me on my 18th and 19th birthday and it was the best birthday ever.
  42. I spent my 23rd birthday on a plane and ended up in Hongkong and Macau. (This is the best-est birthday 😀 )
  43. I watched A walk to remember more than 5 times and still cry hard.
  44. I love the series titled “SUITS”.
  45. I have a high achievement need.
  46. I don’t drink  beer.
  47. I love avocado, watermelon, melon and mango.
  48. I love Milk tea!
  49. I can’t finish a cup of coffee. 2 sips will do.
  50. I can’t eat more than 3 fishball, kikiam etc.
  51. I am competitive.
  52. Me and my friends locked ourselves in our room so we won’t pay the entrance fee of the ball.
  53. I used to sell “recycled items” as long as its glittery when I was in Elementary. Talk about being business minded eh?
  54. I used to love chemistry way back in College and had a BS Chem ex- boyfriend 😀
  55. Me and my friends locked ourselves at our room and hid behind the cabinets so we would not pay for the grand ball’s entrance fee.
  56. I’m kuripot.
  57. I am very sentimental.
  58. I am bad at showing my weak spot to my family.
  59. I eat a lot.
  60. I don’t like wearing uniforms
  61. I have multiple social media accounts in one media because i frequently forget my password.
  62. I hate nosy people
  63. My ideal breakfast is either pancakes, and bread.
  64. Its my weird dream to be a maid of honor.
  65. I had a daughter at 20 years old.
  66. I experienced spending New Years Eve on the street alone.
  67. I played volleyball even if I’m 4 months pregnant.
  68. I did zipline superman style when I was 4 months pregnant.
  69. My favorite color is white.
  70. I had a TV interview once.
  71. I slept in a haunted house two nights.
  72. I’m acrophobia and trypophobia.
  73. I joined pageant several times. (forced to)
  74. My favorite day is Wednesday. I don’t know why but I used to dress well and feel well during Wednesday.
  75. I hate false promised and cancelled plans. I want everything to be well planned.
  76. I cried over a dead bird I stepped on.
  77. My day will not be complete without checking Instagram.
  78. I’m not a pet lover. I once had a pet and found it the mouth of our house cat.
  79. I pet 2 guinea pigs named Kari and Poku.
  80. I have a bad memory and short term memory problem.
  81. Bu I think that I have a minor photographic memory ability. I tend to remember things after I see it.
  82. I love public speaking.
  83. I am an emcee since college, and hosted a wedding
  84. My blood type is A+. and just learned it last 2014, all the while i thought I am Blood O.
  85. My weirdest gift wish list is a dictionary.
  86. I always say what I want to say regardless of how harsh it is.
  87. I am competitive.
  88. I have a product development/ brand manager profession.
  89. I think I am a semi bi sexual
  90. I have a lot of nicknames depending on the group of friends.
  91. I love having a relaxing body massage and spa treatments.
  92. I am indecisive.
  93. I sprained my thumb because of playing volleyball.
  94. I am not confident with my teeth.
  95. the first big concert  I attended to was Shaw Mendez at MOA.
  96. I can sense if someone is taking photograph of me.
  97. I like being the subject of a photo.
  98. I am ambidextrous.
  99. I am either lazy or super industrious. nothing in between.
  100. My name is Nicole,and these are the 100 random facts about me.




  • N



SELF REALIZATIONS VOL 2 “Blame it on my Zodiac (Scorpio)”

Have you ever been in a situation wherein you just want to be alone and shut down the world? Like you realized that you have the tendency to push people away, when all they want to do was to help you out?

I did! Always, maybe?

I recently had a fight with someone because I was pissed off about  the thought that this person is lecturing me about something I thought I already figured out.  S/He was startled and left after telling me these words “Ikaw na nga tinutulungan, ikaw pa ang galit” — Then comes awkward silence.  The silence drift me away to realizations that”yeah! I think this person was right after all. ”  Maybe I was being mean perceiving that they do not think I know what I am doing, or that they are just messing with  my ideas; because on the other side of the coin they are just genuinely suggesting and  helping me with  an  alternative.

A friend once told me that maybe it was because of my zodiac. People who were born under  the  zodiac of Scorpio are usually defensive and over thinkers. They protect themselves so much that they tend to dismiss the help offered  by others thinking that it has ulterior motive, and shut down the people who tends to show love. They know their territory and protect it by all means, and that Ladies and Gentlemen…is so me..

Now what shall we do about this Scorpio’s?

Well.. we could always blame it on our zodiac and say WTF! I’m a Scorpio!

But we can’t! It doesn’t work that way. Before we would realize the recourse of our actions, people already lost the will to  keep and understand us. So before they get tired f the understanding the stubborn Scorpio, let the change start little by little.

As for me, I am practicing the art of MATURITY. 2017 has shown me lessons telling me how immature I still am. So this 2018, i will make sure to master the art before I can no longer apply it on someone else because I wont have anyone else anymore.



Self Realizations Volume 1

This may be 25 days late but, I am still amazed by the fact that another year has ended and we are now on the page of the new one.

For me, 2017 was a year of Learnings. I couldn’t say that it was the best year nor the worst one, but rather it was the year when I finally “somewhat” get to know myself more. The year when I “somewhat” figure things out. I was faced with obstacles that forced to do “adulting”.

To share with you some pointers, here are the things I learned last 2017.









Remembering.. Before I forgot

It’s the 3rd day of the new year. I was sitting on my office chair trying to contemplate the what to do’s and stuffs I need to accomplish, when  I received an email from WordPress greeting me for my blog anniversary. Then I thought, Ugh! Right! It was January last year when I started to rekindle with my first passion.

As I checked my blog site, I realized I only have few posts. I haven’t got the chance to update it every once in a while. Maybe due to a very busy schedule I am prioritizing lately.

Why did I ever start writing here in the first place? —  I have started this blog because I wanted to find myself again. The old me who finds joy in spilling thoughts though the ink of a pen. The old me who fill pages of a notebook with either short stories, scripts, poems or any random diaries. Then guilt started to eat my system. What happened to rekindling? I felt guilty that somewhere in the one year that ended, I have neglected, not the blog itself but, the real me. .. the old me.  No matter how I work to bring it back it just doesn’t work the same way before. It is not my priority anymore, nor maybe part of the list.

Time restrictions were to blame, wasn’t it? or was it my maturity and change of priorities? I work eight (8) hours a day,sometimes more, meet with family and friends after work and the rest was either to prepare for the next day or was already consumed by the traffic situation I am always in. I can barely sleep 8 hours , and could not even manage to spend a lot of time for my daughter. I don’t even have time to read books like I used to. It’s all piled up in the shelves waiting to be valued again. Oh God! I miss the good old days. I have been long deprived of the ME time that I can no longer recall how to make the fire burning,so I could write endlessly and passionately once again. I can no longer find the energy to finish a book in a day or two because I am drained, emotionally and physically.


I miss me..

I miss the old me..


Maybe this is what they call adulting right?

The habits and priorities have changed. You can no longer practice the YOLO and come what may principle. Everything should be weighed before arriving with a decision. Gone are the days when you could be so spontaneous. Maybe adulting allow us to evaluate what really matters. What among all those, are worthy of your time and attention, and sometimes it makes you give up your passion if you could not have time for it.

But, giving up is not my option. Maybe I won’t update every time but I will find time for it. I will still try to find the light..the fire. Still try to awaken some parts of the old me..so it will not be forgotten. So it will once again live and make my life colorful again..so it will make me complete..

Once again..





My mom spoke to me in my dream..

I will do what I want.

Go where I want

And live the life I envisioned.


I remember the dream I had last night. It was my Mom.

The setting was New Year’s Eve and I was about to get Zoe from somewhere and went back to mom to ask her to come with us to spend the New Years Eve at our relatives house.. But Mom told me just to stay. she said “Just stay here”. “Stay here where you are loved genuinely” “Dito nalang tayo”.

And that was the moment after so long that I felt loved again. She was telling me to stay where I am at peace and it is there..not any where else.

It was my mom telling me something. She was communicating to me through my dreams. Before that night, i was anxious and worried I could not make it alone. How will I took care of everything if I finally get Zoe to live with me? Can I make it?

Then I prayed.

Later that night I was answered through that dream.

” dito ka nalang”

” Let’s just stay here..”

Yes Mom. Ill stay with you. Be where I am truly loved.





I do not need your opinion.GFY!

Sunday Currently Vol 2

Here’s what I realized after checking my  blog..

Blogging is really a tough job. It requires a lot of your time too. But if you’re really into it you can blog anywhere and anytime regardless of how busy you are. Yet sometimes, your time will be eaten up by other errands that you will unintentionally sacrifice blogging/writing.

I am guilty of that. I have once told in one of my post that the Sunday Currently will be my saving grace.. It will be my way of updating.. But I failed. I still do.

So to make it up. Here’s my Sunday Currently post Vol 2.


Literally, I am currently at work right now. Changing my day off because I have a dentist appointment on weekday.

Anything on YouTube. Mostly vlogs of Alex Gonzaga and Kryz Uy. I find Alex Gonzaga hilarious! 😂

For the call that will change my life. It will mark a beginning of a journey and an ending of one too.


For a positive result on my medical exam. I am not quite sure I am physically fit.


Change and Peace of Mind.

I want to change the ways.. The means.. I want to live the life peacefully and happily. I am tired of drama and frustrations.

To move out.

For an affordable apartment in Pasig or Mandaluyong.
So that’s it. That’s my entry for now.😘


Appreciation Post to my Godly woman- MY MOM


Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” — Proverbs 31:28-29

This is an appreciation post for the Godly woman who continuously inspire me to become a better version of myself – MY MOM.

Death will not change anything mom. You are still and will always be my number one inspiration. You  have been the reason  why I finished my studies. The reason why I strive harder everyday and surpass all life’s challenges. The reason I still breathe despite life’s chaotic nature.

I still recall how you took care of me when I was a child until I grew up. You gave me everything and gave up your life for me. I became your one and only priority.  I know I do not deserve everything but still you love me with no limitations and for that I will be forever grateful.

You are the only Godly woman I look up to. No amount of words would describe how pure your heart is. You have been abused but is still willing to help others. You always see the good in humanity and believe in second chances. I was the complete opposite, but because I believe in you and listen in God’s words, I will try.

For a thousand times let me say I love you and Thank you.

Thank you for everything. Thank you for the overflowing love you have poured out. Thank you for being my number one fan when others do not believe in me. Thank you for being my best friend and confidant. Thank you for being my walking diary when I couldn’t contain what I feel. Thank you for being my source of strength when I am at my weakest. Thank you for my life mom. I will not be here if not for you nor will be where I am now. I love you so much and no amount of words could justify that.

Now that you are with Him now. You have been more blessed because you finally reside in the paradise of our creator.





1. SEEK GOD FIRST: Reject the lie that anything or anyone else can satisfy you.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:33-34

2. SPEAK FAITHFULLY: Love others with godly wisdom, boldness, and kindness as a faithful completer of others.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18

3. SHOW TRUE BEAUTY: Bodies deteriorate; persons develop. Invest in that which lasts.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. – Proverbs 31:30

4. STAY HUMBLE: Be constantly aware of pride and selfishness. Don’t think less of yourself but think of yourself less.

“Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?” declares the LORD. “These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.” – Isaiah 66:2

5. SERVE THE LORD: Set your mind on eternal things, serve the eternal King, and live to please only Him.

“He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.” – John 12:25-26


Source: link here


The other side of the story

(My 3:00AM thoughts)

This is me trying my best to change. Trying my best to understand people and their complexities.

I am slowly learning to get to know who I really am. I used to think that I am mature enough to handle every endeavor and wise enough to react to situations, but I was wrong. On the contrary, I am still that immature young lady who doesn’t know what to say at the right time.I still need to be guided. Spoonfed version.

I was way too carried away by emotions. I am full of it actually that sometimes it drives my life. I react on a situation based on what I feel about it regardless if its the nice way to react. It is always my way and my comfort of expression. I did not care whether I might hurt other people as long as I released the emotions that has been piling up in my system waiting to explode.

I over react sometimes on given situations and care less for some. I guess I never think through anything,I just react on an impulse.

Now, I am finally beginning to see the clearer picture. Not everyday is the best day ever and it will never be. But everyday is the day to strive to know who you really are and work on becoming the best version of you. Not only that, everyday is also the way to correct yesterdays mistake.The day to improve your relationship with every people you got the chance to meet and the people who have been with you all along.

I finally understand  that you can never please everybody but at least you don’t burn bridges. It is true that honesty will lead you somewhere ,but knowing what to say and when to say anything will surely make a difference. I have had enough of failed relationships and bad communications , yet I don’t do anything about it. I just moved on and forget about it..but believe me its the worst thing to do. The solution to every problem is not to escape but to conquer. It is never okay to run away from conflicts and admitting your fault is the first step.

So for this post, let me say I AM SORRY. I know you should not apologize for who you are but for once, let me apologize for being me. For not thinking before I say anything or do anything.

I am sorry to those people who were hurt because of my words, my rants, my scream.I genuinely apologize for being tactless.

I am sorry to those who were hurt because of my actions. For what I have done and failed to do. I act before I think but now I’ll try to do the contrary.

I am sorry for the friendships and relationships that ended and did not even commenced because I failed to do my part.

I am sorry for not striving hard to become a better person thinking that the world will understand anyway.

I am sorry for being a pain in the ass. A hard headed immature person.

I am sorry  for not listening when I’ve been told. I was too stubborn to listen and understand.

I am sorry for being hard headed and judgmental thinking that people always have hidden agenda for being good to me instead of looking for the positive side of the situation.

I am sorry for giving up on people.

I am sorry for not being present when you need me.

I am sorry for being me.

So this is me asking for your second chance. This will mark the day that I  will strive hard and be mature enough to live the life correctly and positively.

I am sorry and thank you for staying.



Recently my mind has been pre-occupied with random thoughts about life,career, love etc. I could not find the inspiration on what content to write when I stumble upon several blogsites with  pretty much the “same content” (I thought) about Sunday currently posts. To me it was the silver lining to my spilledinkph ,  I can now update this once in a while and hopefully give you the chance to get to  know me more. 🙂

Even if this is too late already, allow me to join the bandwagon. Here is my Sunday Currently post Vol.1




Sidney Shieldon’s The Stars Shine Down.

Somewhat this book has given me inspiration to aspire for my dreams no matter how impossible it may seem.



Our Cebu trip for next year 🙂



My life and all the people in it.

I  am continuously embracing everything that has happened and is still happening in my life right now. That everything happens for a reason and that you meet people not by accident but by destiny. So whatever it is that I am going through right now, I will handle it with heads up.



Anxious and emotional.

I don’t know. Maybe this is what they call Birthday Blues.




To receive the most awaited call. ( literally)

This call will change my life. So no jinx, I’m gonna keep it a secret for now.



My pastel pink ANF hoodie, a denim shorts and  Adidas Superstar slip on.




( I’m not gonna say more)




Money. Hahaha

I have a lot of plans and have a lot of bills too. Not gonna lie about it though. 🙂


So there you go, that is my Sunday Currently first post. Go on and share yours too :-*




Have you ever thought about leaving for good?

Have you ever thought about leaving for good? About leaving all the people you have been with .. the world you have known for so long and the life you have treasured?

I did.

I thought about vanishing. Thought about being completely in existent, but i fear oblivion. Isn’t it ironic? How you want to be at two different situation at the same time.. but then I realized, maybe I do not want to leave at all. Maybe I just want to be seen.. to be heard..to be touched..to be felt. Maybe I don’t wanna be forgotten, I wanted to leave because I want to be remembered. Maybe that was the reason I write, to express what I really feel because some wanted to listen but no one wanted to understand.

To some I maybe a liar. Am I? Did I say things out of my mere imagination? Am i too creative or is it you who failed to see the reality? My reality? because you were too focused with your own opinion. How you understand the situation rather than seeing it in a big perspective. Maybe I am not a liar. You just created your own truth before I even say mine.

To some, I maybe needy,an attention seeker. Am I? Am I taking too much of your precious time?  Did I appear desperate of  your little attention or is it you who never gave me one without me begging for it? Maybe I am not needy. Maybe no one just gave me enough attention when I needed one. Maybe I am just recognized when I can do a favor for them..or if I may be of help..not because I am valued..and so are my feelings.

To some, I am a bad person with bad attitude. Am I? To what extent? Did I forget the chores? The tasks you assigned? The responsibilities? Did I talk shit about you? Am I too bad to cause a death? Or is it you who only see the dark side of me, my mistakes, my flaws, everything I do. I say what I feel and don’t hide behind a mask. I never say everything I do concerns you because the world is huge and people are millions. You see, I was not born perfect and life did not come with instructions. I have not mastered the ability to please people and the art of hypocrisy. Maybe what I am to you reflects what you are to me.

To some, I am selfish. Am I? Did I forget to sympathize? or is it you who lacks it? or maybe I was so selfless that when I started to love my self more I was labeled selfish? I am always sensitive about others..how they would feel, how will they interpret this and that, and what will they say to the point that I wished to become insensitive. To not feel anything at all..to not empathized because I never satisfied anyone anyway. I was always lacking..always the person to blame, always the culprit. Maybe I needed to love myself more, and maybe you need to understand that because either you do something or do nothing people have always something to say.

To some, I am too proud.. boastful. Am I? Did I ever brag about anything to you? To anyone? or is it you who wants to see it that way?  Am I excessively saying something about myself? or you just want to appeal it that way? Am I bragging or am I just telling the truth? my truth?

I am way beyond exhausted of explaining everything I do. exhausted of being judged long before I am known. People should try practicing the principle of putting themselves in the shoes of others first before spreading rumors.

Let us roll the dice..

Why am i always misjudged? always misread?

Am I too sick not to be understood? or maybe I just do not know how to properly express myself. I say too much..I say less. I never had the perfect timing or should I say never learn from it.

I always thought that being honest was all good. I never thought that too much honesty can break me. I say everything, even stuff I wasn’t suppose to just for the mere purpose of transparency., yet never say stuff when I needed to.

How do you master the art of perfect timing so you won’t be misunderstood? Is it just me or is it also the people who lack the will to understand and dig deeper?

I think its both.

Maybe I should learn to be less..

feel less..

talk less..

care less..

I hope you learn to be more..

more understanding..

more open minded..

listen more..


I have always thought of leaving without a trace?

I did.

but I always give life another chance..


Maybe some will finally listen..

and some will finally understand.