When loving someone becomes draining..

You’re alone.. Sitting in a coffee shop tired of leaving life with no one to share this with..
Then life gives you battle you cannot overcome and a knight to save the damsel in distress..

You found yourself falling..
Falling hard..
Falling deeply madly hard with the person..

Without you knowing.. You have lost yourself in the process.

Maybe loving someone so much makes you forget yourself. You forgot who you are.. What you want.How to decide for yourself and what you really aspire for.
You have forgotten the ABCs you knew so well.

You are so consumed in working hard to please the other person that you dismiss your own needs. You run even if you wanted to walk,and drown because you forgot how to swim.

You have forgotten how to stand up for yourself because there’s a knight to save the princess anyway.

You have forgotten how to speak what’s in your mind and do what your body desires to.
You have got tounge tied,because less talk less mistakes right? Even if you knew that you’re quite the talker.

Its always been about the other person. The wants,the needs, the satisfaction of the other.

Its draining..
Its consuming..

But that’s what commitment is about right?

You commit to work hard to improve your relationship.
You commit to do everything for the betterment.

And it should be both of you. Because if its only you who does the work.. Then indeed it is draining.. It’s not love which is consuming.. It is the relationship. Because instead of two way..it becomes one way.

A relationship with only one whose willing to work is draining. Might as well walk out of it. This siuation gives you two choices..

Are you willing to risk being drained for the rest of your life? And will you patiently wait and try to swim until the other person tries to save you? Or just pack your bags and start anew?

Its your choice.

-N

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Pag ibig pa bang matatawag kung hindi ka na makahinga?

 

Pag ibig pa bang matatawag kung hindi ka na makahinga?
Bawat kibot pagnawala ka ang tanong ay “saan ka?”
Bawat pindot mo ng keypad mukha nya ay hindi maihulma..
Para bang sa bawat pag galaw mo’y may dulot na problema.
Tipong nakakasakal na.
Tipong hindi ka na makalanghap ng hangin bukod sa inyong hininga.
Ilang beses pa bang uulitin na mahal na mahal ka.
Ilang beses pa bang papatunayan na ikaw lang wala ng iba?
Kinuha mo na ngang lahat, puso,oras, pati buhay ko.
Hindi ka pa ba kontento?
Kinalimutan ko na nga sarili ko para sayo.
Kinalimutan ko na mga gusto ko para sa gusto mo.
Kinalimutan ko na mga kaibigan ko at binigay ang oras sayo ng buong buo.
Sobra na to!
Pagibig pa ba to o pagpapaka gago?
Sige nga sagutin mo.

 

 

 

 

-N

My heart’s battle cry.

Maybe your not ready for me.

Maybe you just needed an alarm clock to wake you up and someone to tuck you to bed when you can’t fall asleep.

Maybe you just need someone who will take care of your needs, run errands for you when you feel not to.

Maybe you just need someone to be there,

Honey, I feel, you are not ready for me.

For I need attention,I need care;

For I need to be appreciated and recognized;

For I need to feel your care and (sometimes) be prioritized;

For I believe I am a princess waiting to be uplifted and reigned without doing anything;

For I need to feel special out of the blue;

For I need someone.. I need you.

(But) Maybe you are never really ready for me.

Because you accused me of things I’ll never do,

and if I started to talk to you about the things you have done,you always got angry.

Because your needs are far more important than mine.

Because I’m always the one to blame for (almost) everything ;

and making me feel like every failure is a result of my actions.

Because you have made me give up making decisions by making me feel like every decision I made and about to make is a stupid plan and yours is always better.

Maybe you are not ready for the girl who needs to be touched nor a girl who just longs for it;

Or the girl who needs to be understood without words, but by emotions, through the heart;

Or maybe the girl who needs to be prioritized too and be the princess she wanted to be.

Yeah, maybe you are not ready for that.

You are not yet ready to love and serve others more than yourself.

You are not yet ready to sacrifice, and do what you never thought you can.

You are not yet ready to leave convenience.

You are not yet ready to adjust and bow down your pride.

You are not yet ready for me.

When will you be?

When will you see the things I need so you would do it without a word being said?

When will you understand that I just need your sweetness, cuddle and love when I’m acting weird and not to be labeled as “pabebe”?

When will you see right through my eyes?

When will you see the vulnerability in me?

When will you accept that I am not you and stop thinking that we’re seeing one horizon?

When will you understand that I do not nag, I am explaining?

When will you listen so you wont perceive me as a nagger?

When will you hear my cry? I’d tried to communicate but you were never interested.

It has always been what you want to do, and if I tell you what I want I was always being shut down.

Can you blame me for giving up making decision for us?

When?

..

Then, maybe, You are not ready for me,

or maybe I am not ready for you..

-N